A very loving and sincere welcome Phoebe.
Your traumas are/have been shared by many here. One of the biggest and most worrying fears is, "What if this really is God's organization, and I'm turning my back on the truth?"
May I help you to allay those fears and kill them stone dead?
Examine thirteen teachings of the alleged and self-appointed "faithful slave" which I'll P.M. you, and if you can scripturally refute any of them, please let me know and I'll honestly admit that I wrongly accused them.
These anti-scriptural and perverse teachings should reassure you that this "slave" is evil, and it's certainly not working for any organization of God!